Bestseller
The Daily Driver
Our flagship rectangle of grass.
$29.00
Cultivated indoors. Like you.
Go ahead.
Touch grass.
Hand-grown plots of real grass, shipped to your desk. Going outside is free. This is $29. You do the math.
Free shipping over $50
30-day regrow guarantee
A moment of honesty
Going outside is free.
The sun is shining right now, at no charge. Parks are public. Fresh air costs nothing. And yet — here you are, on a website, about to spend $29 on a rectangle of grass. Should you just go for a walk? Yes. Will you? No. We can’t stop you, and we won’t. In fact: how can we make this easier for you?
OutsideTouch Grass
PriceFree$29
WeatherYesNo
BugsSo manyZero
PantsRequiredOptional
Other peopleInevitableNone
EffortWalkingNone
The lineup
Nine rectangles* of grass.
*Two are circles. Two are not grass. We counted them anyway.
The Commuter
Grass that travels better than you do.
$24.00
The Standup
Makes meetings 40% calmer.
$34.00
Low stock
The Pro Max
Twice the grass. Half the shame.
Original price was: $74.00.$59.00Current price is: $59.00.
Pair Programmer
Two plots. One for each of you.
$44.00
Seedling Starter Kit
Grow your own. Eventually.
$19.00
Staff pick
The Night Shift
Thrives under monitor glow.
$39.00
The Tiny Gnome
Supervises your grass.
$12.00
The Mister
For the daily ritual.
$16.00
The program
Three steps.
Zero going outside.
Admit it.
You need grass. You won’t go outside. This is fine. Everyone here has agreed not to mention it.
Pay us.
Pick a plot. We ship within 48 hours. The money part is the easiest part — for us.
Touch it.
Daily. That is the entire program.
The touched
8,600 indoor humans.
Zero walks taken.
Every review from someone who chose $29 over free.
I bought it as a joke for our hackathon team. It is now the most important object in the office. Our standups are 40% calmer.
My therapist asked what changed. I said grass. She wrote it down.
It sits next to my monitor. I have named it. We are close.
8,600+
verified reviews
4.9
average rating
0
walks taken
Objections
Overruled.
Yes. This is our most common question and, frankly, the most insulting. It is real grass, grown in a real greenhouse, by people with dirt under their nails.
A light mist every two to three days. The Mister exists for exactly this ritual.
If you survive your apartment, the grass will. It asks less of you than your houseplants did.
Orders leave the greenhouse within 48 hours. The grass travels better than you do.
Then it lived a short, beautiful, indoor life. The 30-day regrow guarantee means a replacement ships free. No interrogation.
Yes. And yet here you are. We're not judging. We're invoicing.
The grass is real. The price is real. Your refusal to go outside is real. Which part sounds like a joke?